I write everything down except what's on my mind.

I listened to Third Eye Blind in the car this morning in anticipation of their concert in Baltimore in February (can't wait! We plan to re-live our Quadmania days circa 2003, maybe without the crowd-surfing this time). This song lyric definitely describes me most days. My brain is like a news ticker that never shuts off; randomness passing through every two seconds. This is how it functions with proper medication; I can't imagine what it would do without it. I went to therapy for a while and we talked a lot about meditation, I've listened to lots of hypnosis recordings that help relax my body, but my mind is very stubborn.

Anyway, if I wrote down everything that was on my mind, my blog would look like my Twitter feed but crazier. For example, just on the way to work this morning, these things popped in my head.

-At least I wasn't the last person in the carpool lane this morning.
-Wow, that song lyric sounds just like me.
-How many hours is it until I can go to happy hour?
-I got four hours of sleep last night. That's probably not normal.
-Did I let the dog in the house?
-Did I put the dog in his crate?
-Do my son's teachers notice that he never wears socks?
-I can't believe I put vanilla almond milk in my coffee this morning, then had to dump it out and make a new cup.
-How long as that almond milk been in the fridge?
-I love my Keurig.
-I forgot to put that quilt in the dryer last night. And this morning. Now it's probably really smelly and I'll have to wash it again.
-Will my kids let me take a nap tomorrow?
-"Cold as fire baby, hot as ice. If you've ever been to heaven this is twice as nice... break it down, break it dow-own. break it down..." -Britney Spears
-Why do Britney Spears songs pop into my head at random?
-I hope work is quiet today.
-I hope my mother-in-law remembers to pick Josh up from school.
-I need to talk to BFF about the weird dream I had last night.
-I just blew through a yellow light. I don't think it turned red though.
-I'm in the work parking lot now. How did I get here without noticing?
-Crap! I left my coffee in the car.

So the thing is, I want to write a novel. Not the Great American Novel. Not a novel to turn into a movie like Twilight or The Hunger Games or The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. I like writing fluffy, cute, kind of funny stories with an endearing main character with lots of self-confidence who falls in love with her dream guy. The kind of stories I immediately start reading when I finish a serious story and need something happy to read. I've never been a super happy person, I'm what you might call pessimistic (as opposed to my husband, the eternal optimist). My stories are a way to escape that negativity, to write the happy, perfect scene.

So I could write everything down that's on my mind, but that would just be pages of jumbled thoughts, worries, reminders, and song lyrics. I'm pretty sure no one, not even my best friend, would want to buy that, not even for $0.99 on her e-reader.